Curtains! The Summer Madness Comes To An End

Third Man writes:

Beginning with a whimper, the IPL ended with a bang. Finally, what seemed like an interminable case of summer madness is over. As the 45th and final day of the IPL produced a Sunday night thriller – a dream, last-ball finish – even the purists must have been drawn into the thrill of the chase.

Though it’s difficult to fathom a pattern in the shortest format of the game – some say the only pattern is its capriciousness – something must be behind the complete dominance of the Rajasthan Royals in the tournament. They frequently found themselves in tights spots in the tournament but, more often than not, they wriggled out. That’s what they did in the final, more than once.

Warne is, by all accounts, a remarkable leader of men – his boys, brothers and sons to him, look up to him. “You walk on the edge, and if you fall off, we’ll hold you,” his coaching assistant, Daren Berry, says of the role Warne sees for himself.

And the Royals regularly walked on the edge; even after the calamitous dismissals of Shane Watson, Mohammad Kaif and Ravindra Jadeja, Warned egged on Yusuf Pathan to keep going for the big shots. When Pathan slipped, run-out with direct hit from Suresh Raina, Warne calmly stepped in and held the team. And the dream endured.

The Royals had men who were supposed to be inexpensive, bargain buys – men who were not a marketing dream; but the team ended up with a remarkably high number of match-winners: Swapnil Asnodkar, Shane Watson, Graeme Smith, Yusuf Pathan, Sohail Tanvir and Warne himself. The young were fearless, the (cricketing) aged were firm and in body and mind. The result was not surprising. Expected to bring up the rear, they were the favourites by the time they got to the semifinals.

So, thus ended first edition of the IPL – a success, surely, in terms of the hype it generated, and the impossible amounts it brought into the game.

But I suspect there’s much more to IPL than was visible to the naked eye – it could well be much, much bigger. We’ll know in a year or two what the fruits are of what we’ve sown. The fruits of success are not always sweet – if you love cricket, you may not love the taste of things to come. Click to read full post

Modi, the man with the golden touch — and a past

Third Man writes:

Must a man’s misdeeds, committed in the first flush of youth, come back to haunt him 23 years later? In Victor Hugo’s masterpiece Les Miserables, the protagonist, Jean Valjean, committed an insignificant indiscretion in youth and desperation; he found an implacable enemy in Inspector Javert, who proved an unshakeable foe, the man who gave him a lifelong chase towards a tragic denouement.

Javert, an unyielding agent of justice, drowned himself in the Seine when he could not reconcile his chase with Valjean’s redemption and nobility after very minor brushes with law. For, must a man who’s paid his debt to society forever be thought as the law’s enemy?

Fiction and life imitate each other; it now has emerged that the current darling of the page 3 people, the usher of the new age of billion-dollar cricket, Lalit Modi, was convicted for possession of cocaine, with an intent to traffic it – 400 grams of it – when he was 21.

Hindustan Times carried the story on its front page, just three days after Modi, in a TV interview, said: "It was something that was thrown away by the courts and the judicial system in America and it was something that happened when I was in my teens in college in America."

Clearly, someone is lying. When Mail Today published a story on Modi’s allegedly criminal past, they also printed a document that showed Modi had confessed his guilt. The case was not thrown away – Modi pleaded guilty to bargain a milder sentence. Another point – in 1985, Modi was clearly past his teens. He was also charged with criminal assault, along with three others.

Now, it's natural for someone in his position to deny the charge now – use of recreational drugs is often looked at with an indulgent eye, but peddling them is far serious business.

Sports journalists say that those documents have been in circulation for years – it's only Hindustan Times and Mail Today who could find the courage to publish his confession.

Twenty-three years is sufficient distance to let a man go, even if the crime were as serious as it seems – if there has been no further suggestion of misdeeds associated with him. However, with Modi, that’s not the case. He's been accused of joining cricket administration through dubious methods; the IPL – as the Indian Express has reported – has become a private money-making enterprise of a select chosen ones.

Modi proclaims his innocence, but it’s clear that he has much to answer for. Click to read full post

What's The Colour Of Money?

Money may make you class conscious, but it can't buy you class. One aspect of old money that's most worthy of approval is the fact that pecuniary privilege is, frequently, good for artistic taste. Excesses of money are made tolerable by artistic discrimination it can help foster.

That's not happened with the IPL – you could be forgiven if you have fit of apoplexy if you look at the IPL winner's trophy, for it's an eyesore.

The IPL lovingly catalogued the number of rubies, diamonds and sapphires that constitute this frightful atrocity. Artistic taste is both an acquired habit and instinctive fancy; I prefer minimalist, elegant lines in understated hues, rather than gaudy gold, but sadly, no one asks me for my opinion.

The IPL's trophy is what could have been expected – the game being played out is not cricket at all, and it's fitting that the winners take home a confused symbol. The trophy is a jumble of themes – a just prize for the gold-diggers the players have been turned into.

The patriotic theme – the trophy is in the shape of India's map – is both superfluous and apt because, despite the international stars and the money, it's just a domestic tournament. Perhaps the IPL also sought to buy immunity against criticism with this display of patriotism; but patriotism worn on the sleeve must be dealt with caution, especially in an event marked by contempt for sport and veneration for money.

The beginning of the end of the Baggy Green?

What about when you wear patriotism on your hat? Australians love their Baggy Green, but colour-altering attributes are not restricted to the chameleon – money accomplishes that with ease among humans. The Australian players, taking on the might of a Jamaica XI in the West Indies, wore blue caps which happened to have the sponsor's logo on it – just "by chance", according to the team management. Brad Haddin doesn't have a Baggy Green cap because he hasn't played Test cricket for Australia, so the team decided to switch to blue, for the "sake of uniformity".

For some reason, this particular piece of apparel has acquired a halo, a sanctity difficult to understand. The shirts, trousers and shoes have been taken over by the sponsors, but why not the cap? Perhaps it still signifies the primacy of sport over commerce, an obscure throwback to the pride associated with headgear. But the Australians, who talk of their Baggy Green with touching devotion, gave it up for reasons that are suspiciously specious, possibly commercial. Perhaps, in the end, the market forces will buy and sell even symbols of purity of sport. That will be a pity.

Earlier: The IPL trophy and other monstrosities

Photograph via Getty Images on NineMSN

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What would Ramadoss tell Warne?

Hindustan Times snapped Shane Warne smoking before the Jaipur vs Kolkata match on Tuesday night.



Remember this?

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The IPL Trophy and other monstrosities

Lalit Modi recently unveiled this trophy for the Indian Premier League. It has been crafted by Orra.



It's a monstrosity.

Bizdom tells us the trophy has:

2,554 round and baguette diamonds weighing 68.77 carats, 4,500 yellow sapphires weighing 218.55 carats, blue sapphires weighing 986 carats and 8 rubies weighing 248.70 carats have been used. The gold weight of the statue is 691.15 grams.

The gaudiness of the trophy is perhaps bettered by the corniness of the concept:

Yellow and blue sapphires make up the map of India signifying the passion for the DLF Indian Premier League that has captured the imagination of the entire nation, while the rubies on the map highlight the eight franchises and cities in which the matches are being played.

The border of the Indian map and the league is highlighted in diamonds, to signify the added dazzle that the league has brought to the game of cricket.

Sursuri scrounged the net and put together a small list of weird trophies.

Here's Mahela Jayawardene all smiles with his prize — the trophy for the home Test series against England.



And here's tennis player Agustin Calleri... with a portable shower?



And here's the lovely prize given to the winners of the Chicago International Documentary Festival Grand Prix.



Presenting the winner and runner-up of the Acapulco Pear Eating Competition. Sorry, we meant Acapulco International Tennis.



Golfer Christie Kerr really seems to like her prize...



... but the clear winner is Novak Djokovic's prize — a luscious, translucent, rosy nipple?.



Honorable mention: The Border-Gavaskar Trophy, which Sachin Tendulkar held aloft in 1996. If someone can find a picture of that, please contact us.

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The Men Who Sold Cricket

Third Man writes:

All good men who love sport and cricket say privately they don't like the shape of things that the IPL promises. The IPL's biggest success is that it's turned sport into a commodity like never before, and venality into a widespread practice.

Big money, to be made or lost, ensures silence.

Those of you who are going bananas over the Indian Premier League may not like this, but the Third Man has a good mind to don a red shirt and turn into an anarchist. Only the direst incendiary acts against the IPL would satisfy the Third Man. Why? Because this is not cricket – this is ego massage and money-making in the most lurid form.

The cricketers are commodified like never before. The basis of the IPL is not sport, it's money. A team owner like Vijay Mallya can wrathfully declare that "unfortunately, in cricket, unlike in any other sport, the captain is the boss". What, does he pretend that he knows cricket more than Rahul Dravid, whom his flunkeys in the media are slandering for not picking the right team? Dravid's worst cricketing strategy would be better than Mallya's best. It's easy to be wiser after the event – in February, Mallya had declared grandiloquently that he'd got a very good team.

Mallya lacked sportsman's spirit

In sport, victory is not a given; in T20, no respecter of reputations, iconoclasm is the essence. Mallya, surly in defeat, refused to go the Man of the Match ceremony after the games his team lost. Rich in spirits, he's lacking completely the sportsman's spirit.

All good men who love sport and cricket say privately they don't like the shape of things that the IPL promises. The IPL's biggest success is that it's turned sport into a commodity like never before, and venality into a widespread practice. Big money, to be made or lost, ensures silence.

Media, the tireless crusader of the IPL

The media has turned into a cheerleader for Lalit Modi's money-making enterprise. Newspapers in Delhi devote a good two-three pages to the IPL. Only marginal, weak voices speak of the massive frauds inherent in the concept of the IPL. It's turned into a family enterprise, and contracts and sub-contracts are handed out to cronies and sub-cronies. Indian Express reported this a few days ago, but others just talk in hushed tones – the possibility of loss of advertising has turned editors into submissive errand runners of the marketing people.

The day of the strong editor is long past. Would you know the name of the editor of the Hindustan Times or the Times of India, for instance?

Third Man bumped into the editor of a Delhi paper during a game; the man blithely declared, without a trace of a blush, that the "whole thing (his paper's coverage) is being run by the marketing folks". Perhaps freedom of press is just a joke, and was always a joke – you write what the owner wants you to write, or you buzz off.

Just a carnival

Sombre thoughts, but the way the media has turned the IPL – which is just a carnival with little or no serious cricket – into something massive is just disgusting.

Some of you might say that the Third Man is furious only because no IPL crumb has been thrown at him; perhaps you would be right, for moral resistance is frequently inversely proportional to temptation.

That may be so, but the fact is that any kind of cricket that makes Dravid and VVS Laxman look like fools is not worthy of the serious fan.

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Lalit Modi checking out Preity Zinta

A friend at a news website wrote in with this photo:

For all the shit he has put us through, we might as well laugh at the man.

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Five Super Flops At The Indian Premier League

Presenting, the wet blankets, the party poopers, the bank balance wreckers, the Ringos to the Beatles.

Sachin Tendulkar out, Mumbai Indians down

He was in such good form in Tests and ODIs this season, it made fans smack their lips in anticipation of what Tendulkar could have done in the T20s. Instead, he warmed the bench while Mumbai Indians slumped to four straight defeats. There's time for him to get fit before he revisits his rivalry with Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne, in the first week of May. But is it too late for Mumbai?

What Spirit of Cricket?

Signed by all IPL captains, the Spirit of Cricket Declaration was reduced to a farce by a stand-in captain. There could be some reason, but absolutely no justification, for Harbhajan Singh hitting a colleague on the field.

Worse, Mumbai coach Lalchand Rajput stood and watched the incident, doing nothing to restrain Harbhajan or console Sreesanth.

And f the allegations made by Mumbai's players were true, then Sreesanth too should have been booked for use of abusive language. All in all, it is an episode the IPL could have done without.

TV coverage that makes want to pull your hair out

Sony's coverage of the tournament has had us cringing, when not frowning upon their intrusive advertisements. The anchors keep fluffing their lines, often looking stiff and nervous. One of their interviewers once excitedly asked Anil Kapoor about his where his loyalties lay --- when the actor was dressed in a jersey that screamed 'Mumbai Indians'.

The commentary is unimaginative. Ravi Shastri can't think beyond "Tracer bullet" and "clean as a whistle" to describe a big hit. If we're lucky, he treats us to both clichés in the same sentence. His partner L. Sivaramkrishnan often sounds like he's on the verge of a cardiac arrest. The idea of wiring players flops too, with poor audibility posing problems.

Besides, each six is a "DLF Maximum Sixes Candidate", each good bit of play is a "Citi Moment of Success". No, it's not the commercialisation that is crass. It's the constant repetition of these phrases, which assaults the viewer's senses and kills all respectability in the commentary.

Also mention-worthy is the regular scoping of cameras up the skirts of cheerleaders. It is not only ill-mannered, it is unfit for family viewing.

VVS Laxman and the Deccan Chargers

This team has four of the most ferocious hitters ever (Symonds, Gilchrist, Gibbs and Afridi), the finest left arm seamer since Wasim Akram (Vaas), a promising jump-starter (Rohit) and a cool-headed captain (Laxman). Hence it's a surprise that the Deccan Chargers played four times before winning a game.

Before Sunday's win, they had looked listless and there were reports that the team wasn't getting along so well. They started the IPL as perhaps the best side on display. Let's hope Sunday's win isn't a flash in the pan.

Boring, one-sided games

What would have saved the IPL from the constant bickering from Test match lovers was some keenly contested cricket. Instead, only two of the first 14 games were stretched to the final over. In most of the other games, the results became too obvious after the completion of the first innings.

In this sense, the IPL brand of cricket has failed to be different from the predictable fifty-over format. Worse, when there's no national pride at stake, a dead contest would further take away a viewer's interests in a club-vs-club game.

Honourable mention: Two Test match specialists (and T20 misfits?), Rahul Dravid and Wasim Jaffer opened the innings for Bangalore in the first IPL match. Their run rate never got going and the home side folded up for 80 all out in a 140-run loss.

(This piece first appeared on NDTV).

Also read:
- Rants Of An Irate Mumbaikar
- Why Imran Khan Hates Twenty20 Cricket. Click to read full post

Rants of an Irate Mumbaikar

Dekho Dekho Dekho Kya Hai Mumbai
Rukti Na Yeh Chalte Jaaye Mumbai
Haare Naa Yeh Jeete Meri Mumbai
Lakhon Ko Yeh Paale Aisi Mumbai
Bharat Ki Yeh Shaan Meri Mumbai

This is usually how my day begins, with Taufiq Qureishi's drums and Vijay Prakash's soothing vocals taking over the lyrics. And, if you ask me how it ends these days, "Oh man! Mumbai is a crap team, when we have Harbhajan Singh and Ashish Nehra, how the hell are we going to win matches?"

That’s not all, there is a burning desire to just take the next flight from Delhi, land into the newly-furnished Chhatrapati Shivaji Airport and drive straight to the Wankhede Stadium, don the blues and take the field. Even as I am writing this post, and Gilchrist is doing a Barry Bonds by smacking a home run every delivery, there is a resigned fate on the face of the Mumbai "Indians" (as much as anyone, I do not approve of this name). But, it’s now been four times in a row now and for a team that fetched the highest amount in the franchise auction, I must admit, it is turning out to be an investment in vain.

Where are the real Mumbai players?

Is there a connect between the city and the team? How can it be, when eleven of your local stars are plying their trade elsewhere — for example, a Mumbai fan has to take efforts to know who Siddharth Chitnis is, as it appears, nothing more than a rookie offie who hasn't done much to show.

Compare that with the more experienced Ramesh Powar, who is with Mohali these days, unfamiliar territory indeed for someone who's grown up on the docile wickets of Khar Gymkhana. Similarly, Ajit Agarkar — who might well be SRK's best budget buy, and Rohit Sharma, who was himself flummoxed when he was supposed to don the shade of light brown instead of the blues. And who do we have instead? People, who have no association to Mumbai, do not know the city's cricketing culture and even, the spirit of the city.

Harbhajan Singh, who seems like Tendulkar's best-mate after the great man saved his backside following the Symonds issue, and what do Mumbaikars get from the temperamental offie? A slap. Robin Uthappa, a Bangalorean is still okay. You then have an Ashish Nehra, who is still remembered for that one spell and his endless list of injuries. It was a big risk to take, especially on someone who hardly played any cricket all season.

A slap on the city’s cricket culture

Harbhajan Singh's slap on Sreesanth is not just a slap on Indian cricket, but a bigger slap on the city he's representing. Sachin Tendulkar, despite being provoked time and again over his career span, prefers to raise his bat and time it down the ground for that illustration we prefer watching over and over again. Cricketers in Mumbai might have their eardrums filled with "Bat and pad close together", but never with "Haathala Uthavun Kanakhaali De".

In the past, Mumbai cricketers and captains have always felt proud to wear the lion-crest, but this time the sudarshan chakra is flying where it is not supposed to. They ensured that with power and position, came a responsibility, a big one. Harbhajan, with his past carries no credibility in captaining this team. But when you're Sachin's best crony, things become a lot easier.

To blame this team for the depths of insipidity they have achieved would be a little too unfair, but even before things began on the cricket field, the auction room was where the mind-games were won. And to pick a team which consisted largely of Sachin loyalists wasn’t surprising but given that every team in this competition would have picked a winning combine — Mumbai lagged far behind on that front.

A cricket team or a large extended family?

They seemed adept in extending that large pampered family within the national set up, and at the same time picking some strange have-been choices in Sanath Jayasuriya and Shaun Pollock. The affluenza did not begin or end with Sachin Tendulkar, but almost seemed like an epidemic, when Harbhajan did not shy away from bringing down his buddies, Dominic Thornley (Harbhajan’s Surrey team mate) and Nehra. In many ways than once, it was a doomed strategy – one that lacked conviction and smelt of mediocrity at best.

On the leadership front, Mumbai were found wanting again. Tendulkar’s groin injury has not helped their cause, but it is his smart way of dealing with the situation that has. When Niranjan Shah, the BCCI Secretary, proudly announced that Sachin will not be fit for the Kanpur Test, but will play in the IPL – the buzz-birds had their final say. But, with four games in, Tendulkar has defied the worst conspiracy theorists. It was the moment for him to come out, and battle hard, but he chose to stay away to prevent further damage.

Too late to recover from injury, Sachin?

If not now, then when? If Mumbai are out of title contention by mid-May, will we be in a position to put up with the “He was preserving himself for the international commitments” crap? MS Dhoni, displayed better leadership when he chose to keep wickets to Murali and Jacob Oram despite a bruised finger. He meant business.

At the end of it all, Mukesh Ambani must realize that money cannot win you trophies. Money could have done something only if he invested it in the right players. Let’s admit, Mukesbhai, you were wrong this time. No one will remember if Mumbai or the then Bombay won 37 Ranji Titles, for it fails to match the aura of the IPL. Mumbai fans will ultimately come to terms with the fact that, their team was not built for winning, but to keep two men satiated.

(This piece is by Venkat Ananth. He blogs at Cricket Journal).

Also read: Why Imran Khan Hates Twenty20 Cricket Click to read full post

Harbhajan slapped 'abusive' Sreesanth

Scyld Berry's prophecy has come true.

A fortnight ago, the Wisden editor had warned how high-profile, televised cricket events could soon witness on-field violence.

Now comes the news that Harbhajan Singh allegedly slapped Sreesanth during their IPL match on Friday night.

Several Mumbai players have spoken off the record against Sreesanth. They said the Kerala pacer was abusive throughout the game and it irritated them, as well as their captain Harbhajan.

PTI reports:

Mumbai Indians captain Harbhajan Singh and Kings XI paceman S Sreesanth were on Friday involved in a bitter row, following which the fast bowler was seen crying bitterly on the ground at the end of their IPL match.

Harbhajan allegedly slapped Sreesanth after the paceman said something to Harbhajan which offended the off-spinner.

The off-spinner however had a long chat with Sreesanth in the dressing room of the Punjab team and even believed to have apologised for his behaviour.

Sreesanth has confirmed the incident to Cricinfo.

HT reports that there are two versions to the incident.

An eyewitness confirmed to HT that Bhajji did slap Sreesanth. But there’s more than one version. One version said a friendly tap on Sreesanth’s cheeks triggered an altercation. Another said Sreesanth repeatedly abused Bhajji provoking him.

Harbhajan later turned up at a press conference and asked the questions be strictly on cricket.

Meanwhile, Kings XI captain Yuvraj Singh has trained his guns at his Punjab statemate Harbhajan, calling the incident "ugly and totally unacceptable."

It brings to mind Berry's words from the edit pages of Wisden's 2008 edition:

I fear the day is approaching when a high-profile, televised cricket match will see an outbreak of physical violence on the field - and nothing could be more injurious to all concerned.

Shall we say, welcome to the future?

It's not the least bit ironic that the two characters involved have had a history of flare-ups with international players. Now, they've taken it a level higher, messing up their own house.

Update on Saturday: The BCCI have issued a press release saying that Harbhajan has been suspended. The statement in full:

Based on prima facie video evidence as seen and reviewed by the match adjudicator and referee Mr. Farokh Engineer from the tapes provided by Sony & TWI. A decision has been reached to suspend with immediate effect Mr. Harbhajan Singh of the Mumbai Indians pending the inquiry into the incident on Monday, April 28th 2008.

The inquiry into the incident at Mohali in the game between King’s XI Punjab and Mumbai Indians will now take place at the Maurya Sheraton, New Delhi on April 28th 2008. A final verdict would be announced by the adjudicator Mr. Farokh Engineer post the hearing at New Delhi.

Click to read full post

EyePL TV

The Kolkata Knight Riders' website offers a hilarious take on the Indian Premier League through a cartoon strip called EyePL TV.

A sample:







There's more of this at the EyePL TV Archive Click to read full post

'I only value those who perform in Test cricket'

Imran Khan would have been the ultimate Twenty20 hero, the embodiment of all that the briefest form of cricket stands for – allround cricketing abilities and a dash of glamour. Ironically, Imran doesn't look with favour at T20 cricket. He says it can destroy the skills that are essential to become a good cricketer.

Excerpts from an exclusive interview with Sursuri.com's Third Man:

What sort of impact will the proliferation of T20 cricket would have on the game?

Imran: If it's restricted to just a month in a year, the effect would be very limited. But if it's overdone, it will definitely impact the standards of Test cricket, which are already declining.

Not enough T20 cricket has been played, but One-day cricket has already taken a toll on fast bowlers because of the stress it puts on them, and due to the frequency of One-day competitions. The playing spans of fast bowlers have shortened. You just look at the number of fast bowlers who regularly break down. That's the stress One-day cricket puts on the bowlers.

Then the travelling it involves, and there's not enough rest like there used to be in my time… You end up playing with niggles, which get accentuated when you're playing if semi-fit. Now, if you increase T20, the quality will go down further.

And it will affect batting techniques too…

Imran: Well, one impact is that the batsmen have greater number of strokes – the sort of shots they play, we never saw in my playing days. On the other hand, the defensive techniques have been (adversely) affected.

T20 cricket was invented just to make money, and with big businesses getting into it, can it have a negative effect?

Imran: Money is important in cricket, but unless there is a balance, the game is going to be affected and it already has been affected by One-day cricket, especially fast bowling. Their careers have been cut short. And on top of it, if you have T20 cricket, it won't help.

Basically, it's not much of a test of a player's skill and temperament. It's basically about talent with a big element of chance in it. While it's a spectacle, people enjoy it, it's not a great test of cricketing abilities.

Put it this way – if a team wins a T20 competition, I won't necessarily consider it as a quality team, because any team can win such a short competition. Test cricket remains the true test of a cricketer.

Unless a balance is struck, and if Test cricket gets affected, then standards of the sport all over are going to get affected.

What could be the role of T20 cricket, then?

Imran: In 1989, I had recommended that T20 cricket be taken to America, because I'd played a few exhibition matches there. I suggested to Kerry Packer that we should have T20 matches in the US, and on TV, to introduce cricket to American audiences.

I still think that this is the best way to introduce people to cricket in, say, China and the US. But if you play it too much in Test countries, Test cricket will be devalued.

Would you have enjoyed playing T20 cricket?

Imran: I think I would have enjoyed it in the middle; players are entertainers as well, and when you have huge crowds watching you, of course you get into it. But I really value only Test cricket. Players I value are the ones who perform in Test cricket.

If you want to make a list of great cricketers, you don't do that on the basis of their One-day performances, you do it on the basis of their Test performances.

But people do want to watch T20 cricket, how can it be denied to them?

Imran: You can't put more value on what people want than on the quality of cricket being played. If you do that, people won't watch even 50-over cricket, they'll watch only T20 matches! Click to read full post